Bless the Broken Road

Three years ago today, this was happening...

We said "I do."

Two of the most important words I have

ever said in my entire life

(besides "Yes!" of course :)  ).

As I sat down to write this post,

I wanted it to be focused on us

and our amazing relationship,

not on our fertility journey.

So I brought up the lyrics to our wedding song,

"Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts,

and was ready to type how appropriate this

song was to Keith and I meeting.

But as I sat down to write it,

reading the lyrics over and over again,

I thought, 

"Oh man, this song describes our fertility journey, too."

Who would have known back in 2004 when Keith and I decided this was our song
 that it would have more than one meaning for us?

So I would type a little, and then delete...

thinking 

"No, no, no, I do not want this to be about our path to a baby."

So I would try to type again, and delete, delete, delete.

I sat here for an hour, writing and deleting.

Finally I realized, I just need to write.

In year three of our marriage,

this is us. This is what's happening to us.

This is what's making our relationship stronger.

I love Keith more today than I have ever loved him

because he has seen me at my lowest of lows and

still loves me. 

So, here's our wedding song.

See if you understand what I'm saying...

After reading and hearing these lyrics again,

I am actually not sad,

but full of inspiration.

I remember the days when I would cry and cry, thinking

 I would never find true love. 

I would meet someone new,

have my hopes up that this one would be the one,

and end up heart broken once again.

Somehow, some way, I always found

a way to pick myself right back up and try again.

Each person I met, taught me something new.

I think this is very much like our baby journey.

There have been so many days where I have cried,

thinking I will never be a mother.

But each month I learn something new about myself,

about Keith, about our relationship,

and am hopeful that all of these struggles

are pointing us in the direction of our future Baby Messer.

I don't understand it now,

 just like I didn't understand it then,

"but it's all part of a grander plan,

that is coming true..."