8 weeks

How far along?:  8 weeks

Gender: Not finding out! We love surprises!

Weight gain: Ugh! I actually have now lost 3
pounds. Dreading the thought of possibly taking
meds.
I'm reading a book about having twins and it says
I should have gained 8 pounds by now.
How can I gain weight when food doesn't sound good?!

Maternity clothes: Not yet, but definitely getting close!

Stretch Marks: No

Belly Button in or out: In

Sleep: I had the worst night of sleep this week.
I couldn't get comfortable. I tossed. I turned.
I didn't sleep much AT. ALL.
The next day my mom bought me a body pillow.
Ever since, I've been sleeping like the two babies inside of me!

Best moment this week: We had another ultrasound this past Thursday
and were able to hear both babies' heartbeats.
They were the most beautiful sounds I had ever heard in my
entire life.
I cried, surprise, surprise.
My mother and father in law also found Chicco car seats
on sale for a really good price! Car seats--check!
Worst moment this week: I woke up yesterday morning around 5:30
hungry as all get out. I didn't have to go to the bathroom, but
thought, "Well, since I'm awake, I might as well go."
I went to the bathroom in the dark so that I did not disturb
Keith, but when I wiped I saw something dark on the toilet paper.
I flipped on the light and saw bright red blood on my toilet paper
and in the toilet. I yelled to Keith (who surprisingly woke up!)
and he came into the bathroom. I said, "What do I do? What do I do?"
I thought for sure I had lost our precious miracle babies.
I cleaned myself up and cried on the floor.
I called IRH and left a message.
I tried to go back to sleep, but there was no way.
They called at 8:20 and we were being seen by the doctor
by 9:30.
The babies checked out fine, thankfully.
Apparently bleeding is common with multiples.
Ugh! So scary!

Miss anything: My brain when it had positive pregnancy thoughts.
Now I am constantly wondering if the babes are okay.

Movement: No

Cravings: Panera salad and tomato soup.

Queasy or sick: This week I'm feeling pretty good!
Just keep that ginger ale flowing. :)

Looking forward to: New Year's Eve with some of our favorite friends!

7 Weeks

SURPRISE! WE'RE HAVING TWINS!

How far along?:  7 weeks

Babies are measuring 0.9 cm and 0.73 cm.
Doctor says they are right on track!

Gender: Not finding out! We love surprises!

Weight gain: I actually lost weight this week due
to all of my sickness. The doctor says if this continues
I will have to take some anti-nausea meds, but I'm
going to try to hold off as long as I can. 

Maternity clothes: Not yet, but maybe soon!

Stretch Marks: No

Belly Button in or out: In

Sleep: As I have said before, I've always been a
stomach sleeper. I have often wondered how I would sleep once
 I got pregnant. My body has naturally been having me sleep on my
side. Isn't it weird how our bodies just know?!

Best moment this week: Our ultrasound appointment!
Seeing the two flickering heart beats made my heart flutter.
Worst moment this week: Our ultrasound appointment.
The two days leading up to the appointment, I had lost all
pregnancy symptoms. I was hungry (which has been rare), my boobs
didn't hurt any more, I didn't feel as tired. After last year's miscarriage,
I was afraid I knew what this meant. Loss of pregnancy symptoms
means loss of baby.  So the day of our ultrasound, I woke up
in the morning and took a pregnancy test to make sure I was
still pregnant. I was freaked out when that double line was so faint
I could barely see it!  I cried when I left the house and all the way to work
thinking that we had lost our baby again.
Darn 3:45 appointments.
This day was going to be the longest day of my life!
Fortunately, it ended with our best moment of the week
(see above!).

Miss anything: Food, but what's new?!

Movement: No

Cravings: Fruit! I cannot get enough!

Queasy or sick: Some days I'm really sick, others not so much.
Ginger ale before getting out of bed has been a miracle cure!

Looking forward to: Our next ultrasound appointment on Thursday, December 26th!

Merry Christmas to all!

6 weeks!

How far along?:  6 weeks

The baby is the size of a sweet pea.

Gender: Not finding out! We love surprises!

Weight gain: I have finally weighed myself. 

We'll start counting the pounds from here.

Maternity clothes: Not yet.

Stretch Marks: No

Belly Button in or out: In

Sleep: So tired! Tired doesn't even cut it....exhausted!

Best moment this week: Peeking at fun baby items

while out Christmas shopping. Fighting the urge to buy things!

Worst moment this week: This week I am sick. I mean vomiting

sick. How many more weeks of this?!?!

Miss anything: I long for the day that food sounds good again.

Movement: No

Cravings: Fruit of all kinds: bananas, oranges, strawberries, grapes,

but especially Halos. I cannot get enough of those things!

Queasy or sick: Sick. :( Some days it's just the morning, some days

it's just the evening, some days it's ALL. DAY. LONG.

Looking forward to: Our ultrasound THIS Wednesday!

5 Weeks!

Week 5 has brought with it a whole new range of feelings!

Last week I was feeling so good,

this week the queasies have started to set in.

I wouldn't trade any of it, though,

if it means Little Baby Messer is growing

happy and healthy in there.

How far along?: 5 weeks
The baby is the size of an apple seed!
Gender: Not finding out! We love surprises!
Weight gain: I still haven't weighed myself.
I really should set a reminder to do that in the morning.
Maternity clothes: Not yet.
Stretch Marks: No
Belly Button in or out: In
Sleep: VERY SLEEPY! I sleep on my stomach and am having
difficulty this week. Not because of my belly, but because of my chest.
Wowza! The girls have never hurt like this before!
Best moment this week: Keith and I do an ornament exchange each
year for St. Nick's Day. This year he got me one that said,
"Sharing a Secret." I thought it was very cute and clever
since we are sharing a secret this Christmas!
My mom also purchased a cute baby bump and dad-to-be ornament
that I can't wait to hang on our tree!
Worst moment this week: The constant nauseous feeling...
I love food. When will it smell good again?!?
Miss anything: Food!
Movement: No
Cravings: Grilled cheese and vegetable soup.
Queasy or sick: Queasy. I haven't thrown up....yet.
Looking forward to: After the ultrasound on the 18th, I plan on buying
the baby (or babies?!) some small Christmas gifts. :)

Thankful for Our Little Miracle.

I finally get to do Bumpdates!
I made my chalkboard two summers ago
in hopes that I would one day be able
to take pictures with a growing baby bump!

Let's get started!

Big Sister, Maddy, wanted in 

on the fun, too!

I made Keith pose by the first chalkboard.
I know this won't be a weekly occurrence,
but I told him he at least needed to do it the first time. :)

How far along?: 4 weeks
The baby is the size of a poppy seed!
Gender: Not finding out! We love surprises!
Weight gain: I haven't weighed myself in a longggg time...
I guess I better go do that.
Maternity clothes: Not yet.
Stretch Marks: No
Belly Button in or out: In
Sleep: VERY SLEEPY! I was actually contemplating letting a student teach for me
so that I could take a quick nap.I'm sleeping well minus
the waking up to pee (this starts already?!?)
and the CRAZY dreams.
(I think I have to stop watching Criminal Minds for 9 months!).
Best moment this week: Sharing the moment I found out I was
pregnant with Keith. I had thought about taking the pregnancy test
the day before while Keith was at work, but I am so so so HAPPY
that I waited until we could share this moment together.
Worst moment this week: The constant worry that what happened
last December will happen again this December.
Miss anything: Keith has been brewing all kinds of new beer
and I won't be able to try any of it!
Movement: No
Cravings: Not really. I am shocked that I'm NOT craving
sweets though. I thought for sure I would be eating
ice cream EVERY DAY.  I guess we shall wait and see...
Queasy or sick: Neither for now.
Looking forward to: The ultrasound we have scheduled for December 18th!


And, last but certainly not least, this little goodie showed up from who else?
Savannah!

Savannah continues to take care of me in every phase of my life!
Love her and these preggie pops!

Blessed Beyond Words.

At 8:12 A.M., our alarm clock went off.

We had bread to bake and rolls to let rise.

Why?

Because it's Thanksgiving, of course!

One of my most favorite holidays!

Keith was oh so kind and rolled out of bed to go down stairs

while I laid in the bed contemplating taking a pregnancy test.

Today is the day.

The day that the Dr. B told me to test if I had not started my period.

I finally decided to do it.

Keith was home and would be there to comfort me

when the test showed up negative.

I yelled down stairs to him,

"I can't hold my pee anymore.

I guess I will take a test."

He yelled back up to me,

"How long does it usually take?"

Not feeling very positive about this month AT ALL,

I said, "Oh, about 5 minutes or so."

I went to the bathroom,
and got out one of the cheap 25 pack pregnancy
tests that I had purchased many months ago
when I was testing every month.
I did my business and the stick IMMEDIATELY had two lines.

I was in shock.

I ran to the top of the stairs and yelled,

"Keith! You need to get up here right now!"

Keith came upstairs and said,

"2 lines is good?"

I was crying tears of joy and said,

"Yes, Yes, 2 lines is good!"

Not being satisfied, I was ready to throw on my gym shoes,

with my pajamas still on mind you,

and head to the store to buy tests that say

"Pregnant or Not Pregnant."

I didn't want any confusion.
I needed the pregnancy tests for dummies.

Keith, being the wonderful husband that he is,

volunteered to go to the store for me.

When he got back, we saw this: 

I was in disbelief. Utter disbelief.

I did not have an ounce of hope this month,

and here I stand. A mommy.

A word that I've always wanted to be since

I was young and playing with my Cabbage Patch Dolls.

A word that in recent months I wasn't so sure I was going to be.

Mommy.

That is such a sweet word.

I am ever grateful to God who listened to my prayers

and fulfilled them at a time when I needed it most.

I am thankful to my husband who constantly reassured me

that I was not in this alone.

I am thankful to my family and friends who have stuck by

me during this dark time in my life.

Look for Bumpdates coming soon!

Keep holding on.

They say that 3rd time's a charm,

but what about the 4th time?

Is there anything to be said about the 4th time of doing something?

Good luck?

Do better than last time?

You'll get it this time?

Who knows what to say,

but here we are.

The day of our 4th IUI.

I woke up early this morning in excruciating pain.

Pain like I was going to start my period.

The pain was so strong that I felt like my

ovaries were going to explode right out of 

my body.

The only place to go:

the cold bathroom floor.

My safe place as it as been for so 

many years when I have felt this way

about an oncoming period.

However, this time is different.

Today is ovulation day, not period day.

Is this what I was supposed to be

feeling each month on day 14?

After about 15 minutes or so,

I was finally able to pick myself

up off of the floor and get ready for work.

Work went by quickly as the kiddos

always keep me movin' and shakin'.

We had Keith's appointment and

while there we dropped off a delicious

pumpkin roll to the staff that Keith's, mom,

Lisa had made.

Before it was my turn in the doctor's chair, 

we  ran to B Dubs for a quick meal.

Finally it was time. Cycle Day 14 at 4:00.

Dr. B came in, said his hellos,

mentioned how he loved the 

"calorie free" pumpkin roll,

looked at my chart and was

pleased to see that there

were 3 nice follicles developing on

Saturday.

He must have sensed the negativity in 

my voice when I quickly said,

"Yeah" because he said,

"Well, I think it's good."

I then told him about my painful morning 

and he said that this could be a good sign.

I guess so, but good signs

come with A LOT of pain.

I reminded him again,

as I always tell the doctor's before IUI,

that I am okay with twins.

They always chuckle when I say this,

but I am dead serious.

I do not want to take this fertility journey 

ever again.

EVER.

The insemination was over quickly,

and we were on our way.

The funny thing is,

I went home, threw on my yoga gear,

and headed straight back to the institute for our

monthly "Ladies Night In."

Yoga was so relaxing that I once again

almost fell asleep.

Panera was provided for dinner,

but my favorite part was the sperm and

egg cookies that were for dessert!

Our host has a great sense of humor.

If you don't laugh about infertility,

you will cry,

so I'd rather be laughing.

We all shared our stories,

and the group was shocked to hear 

that I had just had IUI a little over an hour

ago.

I told them a little yoga may relax me.

Nothing else has helped so far!

There were left over sperm and egg cookies,

so our host let me take some home to Keith.

Notice I picked the girl sperm!

Happy Insemination Day!

Let the 2 week wait begin...

But if today I lose hope...

This morning we had our ultrasound with Dr. A.

Dr. A is truly one of the best doctor's in Cincinnati,

possibly even America.

He has received numerous awards over the years,

including Top Doctor,

voted on by a prestigious peer-reviewed group that conducts

an extensive survey of over 5,000 physicians to identify the 

doctors that other doctors trust the most.  

Today, though, he worried me.

He walked into the room, and without

even a glance at us, looked at my

chart and said,

"We need to change your course of treatment."

He did the ultrasound and found 3 follicles.

He recommended that we do the injectable

shots for two more days,

take our Ovidrel trigger shot on three days from today,

and IUI 4 days from today.

We scheduled our appointment for 4:00 on November 13th.

I was a little disheartened by this.

Day 14 at 4:00?? 

This seems wayyyy too late??

Will we miss those beautiful eggs?

I was also sent home with a progesterone pill.

This was the one highlight of the trip.

Hello, how long have I been saying I've needed

progesterone??

Oh, only a year now.

The only down side?

This horse sized pill has to be shoved

up my hoo ha.

Looovvveeelyy!

We'll see how this goes,

but not feeling to optimistic this month.

So I leave with this...

Birthday, continued.

Tonight we celebrated my birthday with our families.

Since I wasn't able to do it last night due to conferences,

everyone joined me tonight for a fun Friday night.

I snapped this picture of Nicole with Sasha and Maddy...

...and she snapped this one of me while everyone 

was singing happy birthday.

I don't look too sad at this moment about turning 30

now do I?! 

Pay no attention to my appearance...
Friday's are rough!

My family is so thoughtful and found some 

awesome gifts for me.

And leave it to my Opa who wanted to

do a Jager shot.

I tried to get out of it, but he kept insisting,

"It's your birthday!"

Okay, just one,

but no one tell Dr. A about this tomorrow

when I go for my Day 10 scan!

Thank you to all of my family for being

so kind.

Happy birthday to me! (again! ha!)

Ending of an era, turning of a page.

Today is the day that I have dreaded for such a long time.

The day that I turn 30.

I don't know why I have dreaded it.

I have always LOVED birthdays,

especially my birthday. haha

But this year is different.

I am having a tough time moving into a new decade.

I adored my twenties.

Best years of my life.

I was fun (maybe too much fun at times!).

For some reason I feel that I have to let

that all go as I move into my thirties.

I am also not where I thought I would be at 30.

I have accomplished soooo many things in my life.

I posted this picture to instagram last night with this caption:

At midnight this girl leaves her 20s. A decade where I married
my best friend, enjoyed an amazing honeymoon, became
a mommy to my fur baby Maddy,
made best friends for life, traveled to new places,
found my career, and ran a marathon among many other things.
I can't imagine what the 30s will bring, but if it's better than
the 20s BRING. IT. ON.

I want to fully believe in the statement I wrote above.

Why I am letting this one infertility set back control

my thoughts about this birthday?

I don't know, but it is.

I woke up with this song in my head,

and it gives me inspiration:

When I got to school, my wonderful

teaching mates had this surprise for me:

Did I mention that we have conferences tonight at school?

Happy freakin' 30th birthday, right?!

Thanks to my teaching friends who had every 2nd grader

sign this banner for me!

My mom and Troy also sent the BEAUTIFUL flowers to school.

The office predicted they were from Keith,

but I knew exactly who they were from.

A mama always knows how to take care of her girl.

Notice the card says,
"Happy 21st birthday."
I am in denial about 30.

A friend at work also gave me this adorable math

mug since I teach every second grader math this year.

How thoughtful!

Kacie stopped by at lunch with balloons, flowers,

and Don Pablo's.

Yum! Yum! Yum!

This girl knows the way to my heart is definitely

through my stomach!

After what turned out to be a surprisingly wonderful day,

and a long night of conferences,

I finally was able to return home to my caring hubby

and loving Maddy.

We enjoyed homemade pizza

(Keith is by far the cook in our family)

and then munched on these Servattii's

cookies my mom dropped off.

We didn't have any candles, so we had to use a match!
Ah!
Can you guess what I am wishing for?!

Thank you to everyone who made my day truly terrific!

I had so many texts, phone calls, cards, and facebook messages

(which I responded to each and every one individually--

something I take pride in doing every year!)

that I truly felt loved in my 30th year of life.

It truly is an end of an era,

but now I'm ready to turn the page.

Let's go thirties!

Savannah's Birthday Weekend!

After getting a few hours of sleep,

Savannah and I woke up early and continued our

gab session on the couch while the boys snoozed.

Once everyone was awake,

the boys headed out on their own adventure

while the girls went Christmas shopping

at a craft show and then had lunch at Chick-fil-a.

Yum!

We visited Savannah's second home--her school--

so that I could see where Savannah spends her days.

It was fun to see her classroom and 

walk the halls where Savannah and Kevin were

once students.

I even got to see old pictures of Savannah

hanging up in the hallways!

Such a cute tradition!

Later, we snagged some pics before dinner.

For some reason, I don't have a pic with Kev in it...

Sorry Kev!

We went to dinner with Holly and Nick,

and Ashley and Kevin.

It was great getting to catch up with 

everyone!

I absolutely love my Louisville family to pieces,

and wish that we could all see each other more often.

Unfortunately we didn't snag any pics at dinner

either...Wow I am slacking in this department today!

We headed home and all went straight to bed--

exhausted from our late night the night before.

What's even better,

it's "fall back" so we get an extra hour of sleep.

Score!

Thanks to Kevin for scheming the birthday plan with me to

surprise Savannah (such a good husband!),

and to all of our Louisville friends who visited with us.

Another Doc Appointment & A Surprise Birthday Party!

After school today I had my Day 2 scan.

I met with Dr. S who seemed positive and

reminded me to give the medicine some time to work.

I will do my same routine as last month:

Femara starting tomorrow, follistim injectable meds

beginning cycle day 7, I will come in for a day 10

scan on November 9th and schedule the IUI from there.

Other than that,

nothing new to report.

Same old stuff. Different month.

What is exciting though, is that Keith and I

are on a secret mission tonight to surprise

our friend, Savannah.

Today's Savannah's 28th birthday,

and after some secret spy messages

with her husband, Kevin,

we have the weekend booked in Louisville.

I rushed home, called Savannah

to wish her a happy birthday

so that she wouldn't be suspicious

of why I'm not calling her,

packed our clothes

(I'm always a last minute packer!),

ran to Meijer to pick up my 

prescription of Femara,

and off we went with Maddy in tow.

On the way, we decided we were

hungry so we thought we'd drive

through McDonald's super

fast so that we could eat and drive.

Only problem is,

we stopped at the

SLOWEST. MCDONALD'S.  EVER.

I was giving Kev text updates

(hoping Savannah wouldn't see)

apologizing for our tardiness.

Around 9:30,

we quietly pulled into the drive way,

headlights off so that Savannah wouldn't see us,

and tip toed up the front steps.

We rang the door bell and of course

Maddy starts barking! SHHHH!

Savannah opened the door and was 

sooooooo 

surprised to see her Cincinnati friends

standing on her porch.

It's one of my most favorite Savannah moments ever!

Holly joined us later in the evening,

and we stayed up until 4 in the morning chatting.

Even the boys were ready to go to bed before us!

That never happens.

Happy birthday to one of my favorite friends!

I hope this is one of your most favorite birthdays ever!

Can't wait to spend the weekend with you!

From the outside looking in...

I felt so positive this month.

So positive.

This month was different.

Things were different.

The doctor's appointments were different.

I felt different.

But the day that I feared is here.

Day 1 of my cycle.

What a glorious day it is too--

cute children in cute costumes

coming up to me and asking me

in their cute voices "Trick or Treat."

I want to scream!

In fact, I did.

A lot.

I cried to Keith that I am tired of letting infertility

control our life.

We had a trip planned for the weekend after my 30th

birthday and now we can't go due to doctor's appointments.

I cried that I want to take a break from this.

That this was too much.

I want to take this cycle off so that we didn't have to 

put our travel plans on hold.

I wanted to live,

and right now all I feel like I'm doing is dying inside.

My thoughts are consumed with what day it is 

and what medications I need to take or which

shot to give.

This is no way to live.

I feel like giving up.

I feel defeated.

I feel like no one understands.

I feel alone.

Maybe parenthood is just not in our cards.

My voice of reason (Keith)

calmed me down, though, and talked me through this.

We just started the shots.

Let's not give up just yet.

We would hate to take a break to just 

have to start all over again.

I know he is right,

so I will continue to fight on.

I will try to be brave.

I will try to be strong.

I called the Institute and set up my appointment

for tomorrow at 3:45.

Here we go again....

This is the best way that I can describe this journey that I'm on right now.

And nobody, NOBODY, understands it 

unless you are there.

Thanks to all who try to understand.

I do appreciate your support and prayers.

1st Annual Chili Cook Off

As many of you know,

our family and friends like to get 

together every Sunday.

Today, 

Keith and I are hosting,

 and we decided to

start something that we think will be 

a lot of fun throughout the years.

We decided that the Sunday before Halloween

every year will be our annual chili cook off day!

Our friends and family really got into it;

complete with trash talking and all!

There were so many delicious chilis available today,

but there could only be one winner.

Congratulations to Jason!

He won a Target gift card. :)

He also filled us in that this was his first time

ever making chili!

Wow!

Alright chili cookers,

you have 364 days to perfect your

chili for next year!

Go!

No one told me about infertility.

I found this video tonight as I was perusing

"infertility hope"

on Pinterest
(yes, you can really search this!)

Cried through the whole dang thing.

Grab your tissues and don't say I didn't

warn you....

So many reasons to love today!

I must say that I am stoked about today for sooo many reasons.

1. It's a Friday and I am off from work due to our doctor's appointment today.

I looooveee 3 day weekends! The only thing better is a 4 day weekend. Or 5. Or 6.

You get my point.

2. It is an absolutely gorgeous day here in Cincinnati!

3. Today is the 18th, my favorite number. It sounds like a pretty good day to make a baby.

4. I have this bag of goodies from Natalie at work who

thought I could use some things to help me relax.

Loving everything about today!

Wish us luck!

Lots of good news today!

This afternoon I had my day 10 ultrasound

to see if my follicles are responding to the injections.

I must admit I was a little nervous going into this appointment.

I had heard that with the injectable shots, a woman's body

can produce too many follicles and then the cycle has to

be canceled due to the high risk of too many multiple births.

No one dreams of being octomom, you know.

When I was on the femara, my body

would produce 2-3 follicles a month

(doctor's want anywhere from 1-3 follicles).

What if adding the injectable shots to the mix

made my ovaries go into over drive?!

Dr. S was my doctor today.

He first checked out the right side.

I had a follicle at 17 mm.

Now, let me tell you if I haven't told you before,

ever since I have been getting ultrasounds to monitor

my follicles since June,

my left side has ALWAYS been the dominate side.

The left side always produced bigger and more plentiful

follicles. I don't know why. That's just the way it is.

So I thought, "Wow! If the right side is 17mm,

I can't wait to see what the left side looks like!"

Dr. S went to the left side and surprisingly

there were 2 follicles, but they were much smaller

in size than the right side.

I was ecstatic!

Way to go right side!

Maybe the right side has all of the good eggs!

This month is different than all the months prior

and I am feeling more hopeful than ever!

I left there with instructions to do the Ovidrel trigger shot

on Wednesday, and the IUI is scheduled for Friday.

How perfect is that?!

Hellloooo 3 day weekend!

This is THE month.

I know it!

After I left the doctor,

I met my family at Chili Time to celebrate this guy:

That's right! Opa turns 79 today!

There are no words to describe how much

this man means to me!

All I can say is that he is truly a hero.

I wasn't able to snag a picture with him at the restaurant,

but I did get in a quick picture with 2 of my favorite girls.

After dinner, we all huddled together 

to cheer Jaida on at her cold and windy soccer game.

She once again entertained us with her 

cute, little ways.

Such a fabulous day and we're 

ready for more up ahead!

It's a disease.

I found this on pinterest and immediately loved it:

This summer I read The Fast Track To Fertility,

written by my current doctors.

In the book, there is a chapter about how 

to deal with people who do not understand

what us "less fertiles" are going through.

It stated, "Telling someone with infertility to just relax and see what will happen

is like telling someone who is having a heart attack to just

sit back and not seek medical attention."

I am trying to understand that many people do not know the daily struggles

that I go through mentally,emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

I try to smile through the insensitivity of it all,

but this feeling of loneliness is enough to drive a girl crazy.

God must have heard my prayers because when I was at 

the doctor's office in September, there was a flyer

for a "Ladies Night In."

Yoga, a light dinner, and a peer support group were all being provided 

FREE of cost!

FREE?!

Sign me up!

(Why can't everything here be free?!?!)

Tonight was our first meeting.

The yoga class was so relaxing that I almost

fell asleep during the relaxation technique 

portion of the class.

Afterwards we were provided with "light dinner",

but I must say that this was the best light dinner

I have ever had.

Panera was catered and we had soups, sandwiches, salads,

chips, pastas, and desserts.

I surely did not leave this outing hungry!

While people were eating, we went around

and introduced ourselves.

While I sat and listened to these stories,

I was in awe.

This room was full of strong, brave, fighting women.

Women who had tragic stories to tell,

but continue to find hope in each new day.

Women who have spent dollar after dollar

chasing their dream, to still end up with empty arms.

Our stories may have all been different,

but we did have some common threads:

Even though people view us as strong and brave, we don't feel that way.

 We feel weak and vulnerable.

We cry. ALOT.

None of us knows where our paths will take us

on this incredible journey.

And while it doesn't make the journey any easier,

meeting these women has made the journey a little less lonely.

Scary, and it isn't even Halloween yet.

Today, unfortunately, is day 3 of my cycle.

I didn't even cry this month as my monthly visitor

made her way back into my life.

I somehow feel like I am becoming desensitized from the whole situation.

Yesterday, I was able to speak with IRH

and told them that I want to be more aggressive with my treatment.

The poor nurse didn't know who she had on her hands today!

A sad, frustrated woman who is tired of doing the same old thing

each cycle, that's who.

The nurse said that if I want to be more aggressive the doctor will

probably have me do an HSG test.

I reminded her that I had that done in May.

She then said that the doc will probably 

start me on Clomid.

I then reminded her that I already was on that for 3 months.

I guess she could sense my frustration so she said,

"Come in tomorrow for a Day 3 scan and we'll go from there."

Thank you.

That's what I was wanting to hear!

I am continuously thankful for

my fighting spirit and that I don't take no for an answer.

The Day 3 scan went well.

I didn't have any follicles left over from my

previous cycle that were still stimulated,

so I was clear to begin a more aggressive 

approach.

This cycle I will do Femara days 3-7 of my cycle,

then Follistim shots in my stomach days 7-10.

I will go back in on Day 10 of my cycle (Oct. 15th)

to see when I will need to do the Ovidrel shot

and my next IUI.

So that's where we stand for now.

Another month with a hopeful heart.

I saw this and it made me giggle...

Let's hope Keith doesn't want to kill me by the end of all of this!

Wish us luck!

Parties, parties, everywhere!

Tonight we had two very important parties to attend.

The first party was for our beautiful niece Lily.

She turned 8 today!

We all celebrated by going to Chuck E. Cheese,

playing games, eating pizza,

watching Lil open up her presents,

and eating cake.

Speaking of cake,

check this cake out:

Happy birthday, Lily! We love you!

After we left this party,

we drove to our friends, 

Meghan and Mike's,

house warming party.

Meghan and Mike have been living

in their house since April,

(I remember this because this is the 

first year Meghan has missed Reds 

Opening Day in a loonnnnnggg time!)

and finally felt settled enough to invite everyone over.

Their new house is gorgeous, folks!

My favorite area had to be the breakfast nook

at the back of the house where all of the sun

shines through in the morning.

What a fun Saturday night spent with 

family and friends!

Teaching isn't easy.

I will say it again,

TEACHING . ISN'T. EASY.

It's a completely different world than when we grew up.

Students are not growing up with 

Full House and Family Matters like I did,

or Leave It To Beaver like the generation

before me.

The kids now are growing up watching violent

movies and video games.

They are coming to school angry.

Angrier than many adults I have seen

in my life.

Today this happened.

I hope and pray that the little student who did 

this gets the help they need.

Teaching isn't easy.

Little Soccer Star

Today, we went to Jaida's 2nd soccer game of the season.

She is such a cute little soccer player...

I can honestly say I don't think I was 

ever as cute as she is!

Here are some pics that I stole from Johnny :)

Thanks Johnny!

She even played a little bit of goalie tonight and made a save!

Woohoo!

She also was super cute as she kept running over to Nicole 

wanting to give her hugs. :)

Oh, the innocence!

At school today I was allowed to wear my favorite Reds long sleeve 

 in hopes that our Redlegs

win the Wild Card Game tonight.

Everyone raced off of the soccer fields to get home

to watch the game.

Great game Jaida, now...

 Let's go Reds!

Rainy Reds Rally.

Today was our last regular season Reds Game.

Our friends Thomas and Sarah also had tickets

for today's game,

so we rode down to the stadium together and grabbed lunch.

We went to one of my new favorite places on the Banks,

The Yard House.

Due to the Wild Card Game on Tuesday, 

we knew that our favorite players wouldn't be playing much

today.

I have to admit, when Shin Soo Choo ran off of the field

to take his seat in the dugout, tears came to my eyes.

He has officially become one of my favorite Reds players,

and quite possibly may not be a Red next year.

Seeing him, in what could be his last game in a Reds uniform

in Great American Ballpark, made me so sad!

I really like his calm nature and quiet leadership abilities.

As the rain started to come down, we hung out for awhile,

but the game started to get away from the Reds,

so we left and went back to the Yard House.

They had the Reds game and Bengals game on

side-by-side...Score!

After Yard House (again) we went to Orange Leaf (again!).

haha

We can't get enough of this stuff!

Even though it was a dreary day,

it was a nice day spent with friends

and my favorite Redlegs.

Today's the Day & Reds Game

Today's the day.

IUI #2.

We had Keith's appointment at 3:00,

then we walked over to Max & Erma's and

grabbed a late lunch/early dinner.

It was nice to have the time to chat with 

Keith before our appointment,

and also read kind text messages

that family and friends were sending

to wish us good luck.

My appointment was at 4:15.

Today, Dr. S performed the IUI.

Like Dr. B, Dr. S also had some difficulty getting past

my cervix 

(again, should I be worried about this?!),

but finally was able to do so.

Afterwards, I was told I needed

to lay there for 5-10 minutes and then

I would be ready to leave.

But as I was laying there,

I decided that I didn't want to get up.

I wondered if they would let me just

lay on that bed for 2 weeks?

Sigh. It was time to get movin'.

That night we went to the Reds game

and then ate some deeelicious Orange Leaf.

I tried the Pumpkin Pie and fell in love!

Happy Monday!